Heavy Thoughts For A Lighter Heart

Today I had two things in mind that I wanted to share… make that three, but the third would somehow be linked to one of the original two. So, Eeny Meeny Miny Moe!

I choose you!

You don’t have a soul, Doctor. You are a soul. You have a body, temporarily.

A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always found the mechanics and wonders of natural sciences to be incredibly fascinating, and it inspires my spirituality as well along with the idea of an infinite blank.

Lately, I’ve been transforming my mentality. A fews years ago my private life started to feel like a battle zone. Anticipating the fatal missile to launch at any moment, all the while landmines were going off one after the other. But it all seemed to happen all at once. It was a time that felt as brute as weapons and as fragile as a flake of snow. Those years deeply affected me, and I didn’t realize how much they did until recently… until I realized that its the heaviness in my heart. I came to a realization while I was punching down repeatedly with intensity during a kickboxing session. All of a sudden I started crying, and felt this surge of emotion running through me. I kept punching. Then an image came to my mind. Recently, I’ve been physically challenging myself in ways that have helped me tap into my feelings and uncovering the “whys”. I have a tendency to brush over my feelings, reflecting more on logic. Overtime that’s what I taught myself to do till it became second nature. Facing my feelings is something I’ve been wanting to do though, but I became so disconnected with them that I confused it with indifference. Maybe I didn’t feel those things?

A video I made a few years back.

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“The heart has reasons that reason cannot know."

I had planned for this post to be another one I’d been working on, but I wanted to get this off my chest and I think Blaise Pacal’s words put it quite nicely. The other day Gillian, Kailey, a few others ladies, and I were discussing the topic of justification. Specifically, the justification of food. It’s funny because this is mostly a food blog, but I don’t label myself as anything more detailed than that. I know that I get tagged a healthy living blog, which there’s nothing wrong with, but I personally don’t see myself as that. I’m just a young woman who likes to share some things that perhaps others can enjoy. I also love to cook things out of scratch, so that means I simply use food that comes from this good earth.

Frankly, I don’t like how the word “healthy” gets used sometimes. Moreover, I don’t like dubbing things as “junk”. If someone wants to “healthify” recipes go ahead, but for some reason it bothers me when people say that. It keeps that mentality of x vs. y going–because this bread is made with apple sauce instead of oil, and a cookie made with butter can get a bad rap. Take out the oil, and that may make a person feel less anxiety. There’s nothing wrong with apple sauce for moisture or for taste, but if it’s done to avoid feelings of guilt I think one should think twice then. Let’s do ourselves a favor and catch ourselves when we start comparing. Instead, let each thing simply be what it is. In the end, what do these ideas really amount to? A cookie may be pivotal because of how delicious it tastes, but as far as the end all be all of someone’s diet… it doesn’t even come close. Granted, perhaps if no one sought out an alternative option for people who can’t digest things or choose a certain lifestyle some of my favorite things probably wouldn’t exist; like almond milk, coconut milk ice cream, some gluten-free granolas, and agave. Now, I know I am speaking in very general terms here but it’s for the sake of not writing a novel. I realize there are some who have diabetes or other dietary circumstances, but I think you know what I mean. I’m discussing the mentality.

I think what has a lot to do with the issue of making food more than what it really is, is the power of words. Sure actions can speak louder than them, but words also have the power to reinforce ideas. I mean that’s why I’m taking the time to write this. Don’t we all start to believe what we tell ourselves? These ideas of right and wrong, what makes us happy, or how things “should be”. How often do you hear people saying something is better because it has less calories, less fat, or less carbs? Sometimes we get bombarded with so much information that we forget to just live. Fortunately, we have the power and choice to step aside from the noise and not let it take over. I like to call this taking responsibility for ourselves.

On my blog when I was focusing on foods that were more beneficial for my liver, I was a little weary of writing about it. The information I was finding during my research was all very interesting, but I was afraid that some would focus on that too much. I know that I didn’t take it too seriously, but I didn’t want it to become what my blog was about. Acknowledging the wonderful benefits that some foods have is such a gift, but it is not my focus. I eat what I think tastes wonderful! I eat things that I would want to share with others if they were sitting right next to me, or pass along a recipe that could bring a person back to another place or time. That’s what I love about food. I don’t feel the need to justify what I’m eating because of its nutritional value or lack thereof. I eat what I like. I like ketchup with mayonnaise, and I like cured manchego. In fact, there’s nothing in this world that can replace the complex flavors of cheese. I like white chocolate, milk chocolate, and dark chocolate. I also like coconut oil mixed in almost everything, and sweet potatoes are just so good. I think olives are gross, nor have I ever really liked fish. I like sandwich bread, artisan bread, and sprouted bread. I think high fructose corn syrup is pointless as an ingredient, but has become an ethical issue and really just exists to give some people a paycheck and save some money. But hey, that’s just me. You are you, and that’s also cool!

Do you ever unnecessarily find yourself justifying why you do the things you do?

On that note, let us enjoy some tasty food, shall we?

Chocolate was on my grocery list last week.

Any Chocolove bar I’ve tried has been a special treat. Not to mention, they come with a love poem inside. So you can love the chocolate your eating, and feel loved too!

Remember this place? Ah yes, it's only natural that I went to the chocolate shop.

(Oh how I wish the weather would be warm enough to go out with bare legs!)

I'm actually containing my reaction to how surprisingly tasty this bar was.

I love crystallized ginger, but I wasn’t sure how this would taste. Adventures always involve some sort of risk though! The ginger wasn’t overpowering the dark chocolate, and they complemented each other wonderfully–you get bits of sweet and spicy ginger while the dark chocolate melts in your mouth.

I wanted to do something a little different for breakfast.

One baby step in making my 15 lb. bag of basmati rice a little lighter–”Project Clean Out” is still in progress!

Hot Rice Cereal with Dried Mango and Toasted Coconut

In addition to the recipe, I chopped up some medjool dates, stirred in some coconut oil, and also toasted some hemp seeds with sea salt. I love the nutty and roasted flavor that hemp seeds get when you toast them. It kind of reminds me of popcorn actually. Anyway, I had an inkling that it would be a tasty addition to this sweet recipe, and indeed it was.

Speaking of popcorn... I was greeted by this man at the door.

On the way back from my last trip to Florida I tried these new-to-me chips called “Popcorners“. They were one of the options for snacks on my JetBlue flight, and I was curious about them. I ended up liking them so much that I asked if I could have another bag! Sadly, I had never seen these chips in stores, but I wanted to try more. The people over at Popcorners kindly sent me this funny box filled with all of their flavors! The texture of popped food is so satisfying to me.

I think it's the crunch!

He decided to surprise my roommate.

A couple times actually.

Have you tried these before? Or even heard of them?

After trying all of the flavors, I’ve come up with a list that goes from my favorite to least favorite (but that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it!): Kettle, White Cheddar, Butter, Cheesy Jalapeno, and Sea Salt. Now I just want to munch on them! You can find out more about them on their Facebook or Twitter sites as well. Also, their website has creative ways to use their chips in all sorts of recipes!

The other weekend I picked up a bag of Bare Fruit dried d'anjou pears at the store.

I was curious as to what they’d be like. They’re great for snacking on, but I wanted to try them with something else.

Topped with sliced almonds and leftover streusel.

Making oatmeal a bit more deliciously complicated.

I had some rice noodles just sitting in my pantry.

While searching on the CHOW website I came across this recipe which used rice noodles. I think next up I want to make Pad Thai.

Tofu and Broccolini Pad See Ew

I omitted the eggs since I’m not a fan of them. Anyway, I have enough for leftovers to have throughout the week!

In other news, I recently went to a casting call for a commercial for Richmond Fashion Week with one of my favorite persons, David!

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I ended up not being chosen to be a part of the commercial, but that’s alright. Just giving things a shot is enough for me sometimes.

Anyway, I’d like to know your thoughts about the beginning of this post.