Today I had two things in mind that I wanted to share… make that three, but the third would somehow be linked to one of the original two. So, Eeny Meeny Miny Moe!
You don’t have a soul, Doctor. You are a soul. You have a body, temporarily.
- A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve always found the mechanics and wonders of natural sciences to be incredibly fascinating, and it inspires my spirituality as well along with the idea of an infinite blank.
Lately, I’ve been transforming my mentality. A fews years ago my private life started to feel like a battle zone. Anticipating the fatal missile to launch at any moment, all the while landmines were going off one after the other. But it all seemed to happen all at once. It was a time that felt as brute as weapons and as fragile as a flake of snow. Those years deeply affected me, and I didn’t realize how much they did until recently… until I realized that its the heaviness in my heart. I came to a realization while I was punching down repeatedly with intensity during a kickboxing session. All of a sudden I started crying, and felt this surge of emotion running through me. I kept punching. Then an image came to my mind. Recently, I’ve been physically challenging myself in ways that have helped me tap into my feelings and uncovering the “whys”. I have a tendency to brush over my feelings, reflecting more on logic. Overtime that’s what I taught myself to do till it became second nature. Facing my feelings is something I’ve been wanting to do though, but I became so disconnected with them that I confused it with indifference. Maybe I didn’t feel those things?
A video I made a few years back.