Today I had two things in mind that I wanted to share… make that three, but the third would somehow be linked to one of the original two. So, Eeny Meeny Miny Moe!
You don’t have a soul, Doctor. You are a soul. You have a body, temporarily.
– A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve always found the mechanics and wonders of natural sciences to be incredibly fascinating, and it inspires my spirituality as well along with the idea of an infinite blank.
Lately, I’ve been transforming my mentality. A fews years ago my private life started to feel like a battle zone. Anticipating the fatal missile to launch at any moment, all the while landmines were going off one after the other. But it all seemed to happen all at once. It was a time that felt as brute as weapons and as fragile as a flake of snow. Those years deeply affected me, and I didn’t realize how much they did until recently… until I realized that its the heaviness in my heart. I came to a realization while I was punching down repeatedly with intensity during a kickboxing session. All of a sudden I started crying, and felt this surge of emotion running through me. I kept punching. Then an image came to my mind. Recently, I’ve been physically challenging myself in ways that have helped me tap into my feelings and uncovering the “whys”. I have a tendency to brush over my feelings, reflecting more on logic. Overtime that’s what I taught myself to do till it became second nature. Facing my feelings is something I’ve been wanting to do though, but I became so disconnected with them that I confused it with indifference. Maybe I didn’t feel those things?
A video I made a few years back.
One of the emotions that is buried inside of me is resentment. What a weight, but how do I release it? Forgiveness. Forgive what happened over the years. I do not want to live with a callous taste on my tongue. I will not live with a callous taste on my tongue. Or, rather, I will live with a more open heart. It’s funny how our expectations can get in the way of that. For that reason, it can be easier to forgive people who have less strings tied to us.
Something that’s helping, is shifting my energy–rather than focusing on the plum pit that seems to have lodged itself in my throat, I am envisioning a fresh, profound perspective. Imagining what it is to see the world through another person’s eyes.
Many of us have heard that saying about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Well, from all of the times I’ve walked around in my mom’s shoes I don’t remember getting any flashes of insight. But I have been paying close attention to the sense of sight, and how vivid it is when you’re in your own body.
When I go on my nightly runs, my awareness is heightened, and that’s when I pretend that I am another person. Not a specific person, but more so playing with the idea of experiencing life with clarity through another person’s eyes. When I look at someone else, I don’t know what’s going on in there. But whatever I experience seems so much more magnified because I am in my own body. But what is the other person experiencing? Life in the same magnitude? That’s what I remind myself of when I pretend I’m someone else. We each have a set of “eyes”, and for the time being our souls are living this life. And sometimes we forget that. Every person has their own vivid experience of life.
Then there are those lucid, visceral moments which transcend all notions, quieting the mind. That is when everything simply exists in reality.
What’s your inspiration?
Images above are: 1) a breakfast bowl with kefir, slow-cooked oats with a few grains of forbidden rice, diced apple, and apple sauce; 2) Mama’s Pea’s version of Gingerbread Cliff bars; and 3) egg cooked in a forbidden rice congee